here was a time when I would have said that I did not do guilt, that there was no guilt within me. After a lot of contemplation and reflection, there is perhaps one thing I am most guilty about.
Four days after the birth of my daughter, Maeve, I stood at the pier near the waters where I had parted the mists,. Barely fighting back my tears, I handed my newborn babe to Murron, who was handmaiden to Queen Aisling. Aisling, as acknowledged consort to Nuada, He of the Silver Hand, would be able to better protect Maeve from both my foster-mother Morgienne and from the war for control that was coming between Morgienne and myself.
With tears, I handed the tightly swaddled bundle to Murron. Leaning down, I brushed my lips over the forehead of my sleeping daughter, knowing it would undoubtedly be many years, before I ever laid eyes on her again. In that moment, my heart was breaking, but not to done it at that moment would surely have seen Maeve’s death, as well as my own. My heart shattered into a million pieces in that instant and as the boat pulled away and disappeared into the mists, I knew that the Fae Wars had begun, and all of it had been my own doing.
I sometimes wonder what it would have been like if I had insisted that Maeve stay with me. Would we have found some way to survive and eventually prevail against Morgienne? I confess, because of the guilt over Maeve, when my daughter Caroline was born, on the fourth day, I was nearly inconsolable. I had, in my anxiety locked myself in the bedroom, a sword lain at the foot of the bed, ready to take out all comers who thought to take my child from me again. It took my husband nearly two hours of constant coaxing and soothing to get me to relax enough even allow the child to be put in her bassinet beside my bed. The whole of that night and several others after it, my sleep was fitful and even the slightest noise awakened me.
Maeve and I have spent years getting to know each other, even though Maeve has by now grown into womanhood. I still hold some of that guilt.
Muse:: Fanny Fae
Fandom: Original Character / Folklore / Mythology
Word Count: 384