OOC: This post that has been crossposted to is admittedly a compilation of answers that Fanny has written elsewhere in this journal. This is a charcter development exercise, so feel free to skip it if you like! 🙂
1. What kind of relationship do you have with your father? If you could change that relationship, would you? What would your ideal relationship with him be like? I never knew my father. I never even met my father until I was grown to womanhood, and even then, it was long after the passing of my mother, my trials under my foster-mother, Morgienne, and my usurpation to become High Lady of the Fortunate Isle.
Gan Ceanach, an Unseelie Prince, known by many names, came to my mother, a devoted young priestess, much to the chagrin of the High Lady of the Island, Morgienne. Within a moon, they realized that my mother was with child. That child was I. He never came to my mother again, not even when she gave birth to me. My father’s brand of Fae arrogance exceeded that of all others. He couldn’t be found, let alone be bothered it seemed.
When I did finally meet him at last, he was not the one that I had created in my mind. He was charming to be sure. Most dark, Sidhe princes are charming to a fault. For years there were so many questions that had gathered on the tip of my tongue; questions that I had wanted to ask him all of my life. Yet in the moments of our first and only encounter, I could think of little to say to him. There were no long-lost words of love or exchanges of fond embraces between us. I was just another member of the Court who was no better and certainly no worse than any other.
Admittedly, his absence created in me the desire to create a father of my own imaginings, one of my own choosing. That father was kind and listened to my every concern. He was there because my mother was dead and gone. He soothed the tears that were rendered because of my foster-mother Morgienne’s cruelty. That man I created – and the reality of my father in fact became everyman in a way that I was ever involved with. It was always one or the other. It wasn’t until much later that I realized not having my father in my life made me stronger, more ambitious – and gave me a clearer picture of what it was that I wanted for my own children, as well as what I didn’t want.
I should be grateful that it was by my father that I was given my Fae blood, and as such ’immortality’ of a kind. I will confess, at times it has been both a blessing and a curse. Though I have seen four centuries, I am daunted by that now. No, I do not love my father. I do not hate him either.
I feel….nothing. And that disturbs me more than anything else. I am fairly certain, however, that I would not change the relationship at all. I find that he just was not all that necessary to my life.
2. What qualities are important to you in a friend? In a lover? Are their significant differences? Is it harder for you to find friends or romantic partners?
In a friend I value loyalty and intelligence of mind. There are so many different things that I find make a person worthy of holding a friendship with. But there is the adage, never put too much trust in friends….and learn how to use your enemies. The same things could be said to be true of a lover. There must be something deeper that I find interesting enough to want to draw closer to. Without that, there will be nothing, though I do flirt. I do not take lovers often – but that does not make me a prude. That merely makes me extremely selective about whom I deign to allow into my bed. There is nothing difficult about either proposition. I simply do not spend time with a so-called friend or lover unless I desire to.
3. Do you get involved in politics? What are your political leanings?
*laughs* I am a very political animal. Power fascinates me, I rule in my own right. Politics is a natural part of who and what I am. If you rule you must intimately know politics and you must learn the laws of power and apply them as is politically expedient at any given moment. No one ever wants less power. It is in the nature of all creatures, both great and small, to desire more power. Power is what tips the scales of fortune for good or ill. Power is at the very centre of everything. When I speak of it, there are those, most in fact, who fancy that I know of which I speak, and yet the true nature of power, and it’s laws allude them. To these I make an advance apology; for they will be sacrificed upon the altar of ignorance. Not wishing to participate in the dance of life, the very dance of power itself, does not, cannot, will not excuse you from it. Like it or not, you will dance upon the puppet strings. But do you even know who the puppet master is?
Indeed, the cultivation of power depends upon duplicity and skill. You must appear to be decent and congenial, the epitome of what a good courtier is. All virtues must appear to be possessed in good, if not equal, measure. And the while you must smile concealing the poisoned stiletto that is hid behind your back. You must appear the perfect servant, careful not to fawn or compliment overmuch. Those who do such, do so unwisely. No decent ruler ever trusted a toadying bootlicker. Winning the favour of Master or Monarch must be done with consummate skill. Subtlety is the order of the day, and then there are always those, who like yourself, are also in the game of Power and playing to win. From these you must protect yourself even more than you do from the most powerful under whose beneficence you find yourself. That is what politics and especially what the politics of power are about. Rest assured, I am one of those who plays to win. There is no other way.
4. What’s the most frightened you’ve ever been? Was your fear real, imagined, or exaggerated?
I was actually firightened when I faced down my own fear. That fear came in the form of a Daemon that I made a wager with. So far I have not lost the wager. Is there still someting to fear there? Perhaps. But how I overcome that challenge, and face those things withi myself that keeps me from the success that I seek, I have my own reactions to fear only. That is real enough. If you are looking for a more in depth answer, it will not be forthcoming. Such a thing would be…..unwise.
Bonus essay question:
Describe your childhood home.
I was born near a small village between Cape Wrath on the Coast of Scotland, and the Highlands, deep within those ancient lands that had been held since time immemorial by Clan MacKay. I was born the daughter of a devoted Priestess of the Great Mother Goddess, the Mother of all Fortune and Magic, and my father was an Unseelie Sidhe nobleman. I was born in the times when Mankind and Fae lived in peace.
Shortly after I was born, my mother took me to the Fortunate Island, where she had served the High Lady, Morgienne. I was still a babe at the breast when she died. Morgienne raised me as her own daughter, and I grew up on this strange island where all women upon it know all of the magic in the whole of the world of humans, and a good portion of that magic that is used within the Fae realms as well.
It is a beautiful Island with lakes and mountains, rounded by deep meadows, and orchards of apples, peaches, mangoes and every manner of fruit that has delighted the world since the beginning of time. No hail, nor torrential rain nor snow has e’er fallen upon the Fortunate Island. The wooded groves and deep forests know every manner of magical and healing herb, and plenty is the only order that there can possibly be. There are marble shrines and temples that dot the Island. Lazily stretching and shaded paths wind past the ornate and impressive structures, some of them feeding into the Island’s centre, and some meander toward the shores of the lakes or to the sea. My childhood was spent exploring every realm of this place. Every cave was a palace, every forest glade a fortress, and in my youngest imaginations, even then, I ruled as Queen.
My favorite tree on the entire island is the ancient mimosa that is large and gnarled. It’s branches and foliage that look like miniature palm fronds, are profusely interspersed with the pink feathery flowers that hold the essence of the most sacred perfume to our people. It would take nearly a hundred stone of flowers to produce one ounce of the sacred oil. I have a small blue bottle of the perfume that has lasted me nearly five hundred years. That tree was my very best friend, when at times I felt that I had none. Its spirit and mine are bonded as every priestess is bound to some totem animal or plant spirit. Even as a child I would sing to it, or play beneath it. At other times I would sleep nestled safely in its branches, as if the tree was a great and loving father, rooted in the rich yet sometimes rocky soil of the Fortunate Isle.
Somehow, over the course of my life, I have ne’er tired of living on an Island. I have gone to many islands. I have conquered them, been stranded upon them. I have been met by hostile natives on the beaches of still others, and yet, each one, in its own way, reminded me so vividly of the Island home where I grew up, and the one place that I will never forget.