I am not one to engage in what I call, “mystic woo-woo” for its own sake. In spite of being someone who follows Kemetic religion, who is an Initiated Priestess of Sekhmet and someone who has been around occult circles in one form or another for over 30 years, I am also someone who is deeply interested in science. I have spent a great deal of time being devoted to the historical record and am someone who values putting out good, solidly resourced material. I am not prone to histrionics, and I really prefer to analyze a situation so that I can effectively decide what to do in it or about it. Sometimes practical things are called for, while at other times, other sorts of precautions and ritual actions that reverberate into the Realms of the Unseen are needed. This was one of those times where the latter was called for in addition to the former.
Let me start at the beginning…
Over the last few months, several in fact; I have been dealing with what appeared to be sleep apnea. I admit, I am a couple of pounds overweight, I am going into peri-menopause, and sometimes the body does weird and not-so-wonderful things as we grow older. Being a “Woman of a Certain Age” can, quite frankly, suck. The situation of really bad sleep was I thought related to work, school and other stresses. I had done my best to correct most of them, mostly through natural therapies such as herbs, seeing my Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) practitioner, and begrudgingly, even my doctor – who is, in my view, merely a servant to conventional medicine. Thinking in traditional ways about health and well-being is not her strong suit, alas.
To answer the dietary questions: I only eat meat of any kind a few times a week. I cut out a great deal of dairy, swore off of absolutely anything that contained even a trace of either high fructose corn syrup or aspartame and hadn’t drunk soda pop in at least three months. If it’s processed, it’s suspect and left out as much as possible.
The ‘sleep apnea’, was becoming more and more consistent and more pronounced as time went on. It began about four years ago at a Temple event in Joliet. It was also at first only happening at night, and it was not every night. At first there was not so much cause for concern. Then it was happening every single night, sometimes several times a night. At its peak, it started happening in broad daylight when I took a nap as well. It didn’t matter if I slept on my back or on either side, or sitting in a chair, the problem was there and it was, to put it mildly, becoming rather frightening.
About a month and a half ago, I had the worst bout of this phenomena that I had ever experienced. It was as if my heart had not only stopped, but that ‘I’, my consciousness that was “me”, was literally being ripped from my body. According to my spouse, I woke up screaming, kicking and fighting. For me, kicking and screaming in my sleep was definitely not normal. I woke up from that night’s “sleep” absolutely shaken. Something had to be done; whether it was physical, or something unseen or a combination of the two was not certain. I just knew that things could not keep on going as they had been.
With great trepidation, I posed my question to an email list of folks that I am a part of. The moderator of the group, who is herself an accomplished author and teacher in her own right, did a reading for me. Actually, she did several. Without my needing to tell her a thing, she honed in on several issues that had been of concern. Her conclusions matched those of my TCM practitioner and my own gut instincts. She surmised that I was most definitely under an attack of some sort and that it centred around one thing in particular. She gave me several suggestions and advice, which I followed.
Even after doing a cleansing and sealing of the spaces of the home, the property and everything else that that needed to be sealed, I put up wards and guardians. With the liberal use of consecrated salt and natron and other protections, overnight the situation had noticeably improved. For the first five consecutive nights I did not have a single incident of “sleep apnea”. On the seventh night there was one tiny hiccup and after that there was only one on All Hallows Eve. That was an indication as well. When the Veil is the thinnest – that was the most likely time that someone will try to launch something. It was just a small little blip.
Since taking precautions and continuing to keep with my changes in diet, activity and practice, there has been no “apnea”, no screaming, no kicking or fighting anything off. There have been no panic attacks – no problems. L
All of this has given me the impetus to reaffirm in the ways that I had been doing before when I first came to Iunen Sekhmet: Working with land spirits that are a part of the Enchanted Forest that surrounds our home, and and continued, focused practice.
So why would I even mention this, or even publish it online? Certainly signalling whomever might be dong this and what I am doing to stop it could lead to my efforts being thwarted – especially when I am definitely not out of danger yet.
Ah….there is a method to my madness.
Even though I have not given specifics for the steps that I have taken, and have not outlined how I had at least momentarily gained the upper hand, I know that sometimes what seems a logical explanation to something isn’t the real explanation. Besides, anyone reading this post would certainly conclude that they had stuck their hands in my own special brand of crazy. Who really believes in any of this stuff, right?
That’s the problem with those of us who have an overly-logical mind. That is what happens when you flat-out dismiss what may very well be a knock on the noggin from the realms of the Unseen. Too many people cannot find a logical reason for something, and ascribing an incident to an unseen assailant or attack can seem really as if they have taken leave of their senses. Speaking only for myself, I have been in the business of being a Priestess and a practitioner of various forms of mysticism / Cunning Craft far too long. I have seen things that cannot be scientifically or logically explained. I fully admit there are just some brands of woo that I cannot even buy myself. For example, I have never met an extraterrestrial, I’ve never even seen one. I am not all too certain that I ever want to see one. if that were in the realm of possibility. I think that many within the the Love and Light Crowd, or the ones who spout off about conspiracy theories meant to keep humanity from their “birthright” as heirs to the ancient knowledge deserve to have a stack of decent books unceremoniously hurled at their thick skulls.
Few things are more maddening to me than someone who considers themselves quite an adept as an armchair magician or expert practitioner, but they have never actually performed any sort of solitary or group ritual. They do not, and by default, cannot understand the dynamics of what power or sekhem really is. They have no clear comprehension of how heka works, or even what Ma’at< is. For these folks, continually trying to rewrite the rules of the Realms of the Unseen and the subtle seems to be their hallmarks. Many of these folks don’t even believe that psychic attacks are possible, let alone that it could possibly happen to them and so they are, in my opinion, far more vulnerable to them. If they do believe in them, sometimes they simply “send it back”.
I am here to tell you that in some traditions, and especially in the Kemetic, that particular and popular ritual solution does not always work. In fact, sometimes it can make a situation much, much worse by acting very much like a Chinese finger trap or quicksand. If you engage it at all, or struggle with it in any way, then the action that is intended to thwart the attack, in turn becomes its own trap. Too many of the armchair magicians and even those who believe themselves to be hands-on adepts are not nearly experienced enough to know the difference. Others simply “don’t believe ” in any of this stuff. I will repeat what I am often heard saying in that, plants do not need to necessarily “believe in” photosynthesis either: They will still turn green.
Right now I intend to continue to follow my friend and fellow Priestess’ advice as closely as I am able or comfortable in doing. She and I are in close contact often and we verify things with each other. In my experience, when you are dealing with a situation that makes you uneasy or you are unsure, you need to get another perspective other than your own. It is always good to find someone you can trust to help you discern what is real and what are the phantoms of your own imagination and maybe offer a point of view that you may not have considered at all. Try to find someone who is grounded in reality at least a little and not prone to bullshit. Josephine, for me, has been exactly that. For that I thank her.
When we take these sorts of precautions, we stand a far better chance of getting the best of both the Seen and the Unseen worlds.
10 responses to “Defending Myself Against An Unseen Assailant”
This is a great post. I’ve had a couple of nasty bouts that were not the same symptomatically, but functionally. The process of managing them I credit for teaching me how to actually do work, as half-assing it did not do the trick. Good work, Fanny!
Thank you, Aidan. I think that when you are involved in anything connected to the ancient religions especially, no matter how deep you go, you do encounter this kind of thing. I am very grateful for the perspective that Josephine McCarthy / Litttlejohn gave me to see my way clear in this. Sometimes it takes a fresh pair of eyes to know just what you are dealing with.
Have you looked at any materials regarding Sleep Paralysis at all? If you experience the inability to move, or sometimes to breath, combined with fearful dreams, it is a natural occurrence called Sleep Paralysis. I’ve had to investigate this because I’ve had it all my life. There are a couple of good books on the subject. I strongly recommend Sleep Paralysis: A Guide to Hypnagogic Visions and Visitors of the Night, by Ryan Hurd.
This was not sleep paralysis. I had no “inability to move” or to breathe and there were no fearful dreams. Believe me, after having asthma since birth, I know the difference. While I am willing to accept some psychological explanations such as stress. If it were just a simple matter of “it’s all in your head”, as the title you suggest seems to infer, then why has it stopped? Why has every road block that has been put in my way regarding certain aspects of my life now suddenly dissolved?
I guess I am a little bit confused by the suggestion. I am not, as I said, prone to hysterical blaming things on invisible friends or things that go bump in the night I think we both have been at this long enough to stop believing in the possibility of the subtle realms impressing on that of the seen.
The book isn’t judgmental that way (“all in your head” etc). The author has referred to Sleep Paralysis as an “initiation”.
If you happen to check out the vids I linked you to on FB, I think you’ll find Dr. H’s attitude toward the unseen aspects very positive.
Some people report being able to stop Sleep Paralysis using prayer or magical means. Different types work for different people. For me, one type did nothing, and another had the effect of changing the experience into something less horrifying, and in working through these events, I’ve actually gained the most regularly utilized tool in my spiritual practices. In retrospect, I prefer the result I got. But if you had asked me before I reached that point what I wanted, I’d say for it just to stop and that no one who had experienced this would think that anything positive could be gained from it.
I made the suggestion because if you had indeed been experiencing SP, I hoped that you might benefit in a similar way.
I hope you better, looks like an attack to me
Thanks, Talia. I appreciate it. 🙂
All the hurdles are gone because you keep going forward in your life, regardless. Call it attitude, energy or knowledge. I do think you know yourself better than others. I think all of us do. We just do not trust ourselves enough to consider that. Also, undesirable things will visit you again. But the fact that you share this tells us that you are not fragile. In fact it is an experience others can relate to and learn from.
I am chiming in late (after taking care of a few issues of my own) to agree with you whole-heartedly. In particular, when you write: “So why would I even mention this, or even publish it online? Certainly signalling whomever might be dong this and what I am doing to stop it could lead to my efforts being thwarted – especially when I am definitely not out of danger yet.
So many times, small egos throw out a curse and then sit back smugly thinking that they have ‘won’. It’s a very good thing to let them know, oh so very publicly, that they are caught out and actions are being taken against them. Very few of the small egos are willing to take things further and go off quietly to lick their (self-inflicted) wounds.
Cheers to all who stand up and say, “I see what you are doing, and I’m not taking your shit.”
I am always grateful for your feedback because you and I are on similar paths. I cannot tell you how much what you write has inspired me. Your wisdom shines in every comment and I am grateful for it.
Alas, there are many who are out there who have egos that write checks that they cannot cash. those of us who are reconstructionists have to listen to it and the petty jealousies just become tiring. As a daughter of Sekhmet, I will always stand up to those kinds of bullies.